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Boobs are a lot like train sets, they were meant for kids, but dad always ends up wanting to play with them.
Don’t underestimate my ability to be hungry.
You can correct people`s grammar or you can have friends. But you can`t do both.
´s status message is better than yours
GIRLS: To make a guy panic, simply ask, " Notice anything different?`... works EVERY time
Guys...dont mess up and buy her the wrong brand of vacuum cleaner for Valentines Day this year. Spend a little extra for a really good one ... Just tring to help.
I have NEVER faked a sarcasm in my life ;)
Why is it called tourist season if we can`t shoot them?
I`m so broke right now that if someone tried to rob me, they`d just be practising..
The secret to success is sincerity. Once you can fake it then you`ve got it made!
Give a man a fish & he`ll eat for a day. Give a man a jelly fish and you can pee on him.
If you have just started playing flappy bird I would like to warn you there is nothing up ahead but more dangling pipes and disappointment
I am not saying you are stupid, because I thought you already knew
All a girl wants is a guy that can make her laugh ... and not just when he drops his pants.
How much tequila goes into mashed potatoes again?