Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
First fart at my new job.
I miss the life I planned in my head.
What do you mean I didn’t win, I ate more wet t-shirts than anyone else.
I`ve been spending so much time on Facebook, that I forgot the internet has porn.
My internet went down last week...so I talked to my family....thank goodness the internet came back
Whoever snuck the s in “fast food” is a clever person.
Tequila... It`s not just for breakfast anymore...
Even though I`m only 29, I know I`m going to die a bitter, lonely, miserable old man ... I`m married.
I didn`t mean to offend you, that was just a bonus.
A dirty mind is f*cking beautiful!
A date with Destiny.. Cause strippers need lovin` too.
People always say that alcohol kills... but if you think about it .... it causes many births too.
If I’m going to sweep all of my problems under the rug, then I’m going to need a bigger rug.
I’m so happy people can’t hear what I’m thinking.
I think the lady at the movies is "shushing" me, but I can`t tell because I`m eating Doritos.