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Nice try Jehovah’s Witnesses but dressing up like cops and telling me you have a warrant is not going to get me to open my door.
A gun is like a coupon that works anywhere.
Haters gonna hate, your honor
I`m getting really tired of being really tired of stuff.
They say you are what you eat but what happens if you didn`t mean to eat it. I don`t want to be a bug.
You know what the cheapest meat is? Deer balls ... They`re under a buck
Eat breakfast: Check...Pay Phone: Check...Conquer the world: Still Pending...
Shall I compare thee to a Summer`s Eve? For thou art a douche.
High fiving was the original "like".
I don`t have a drinking problem. If anything, I`m TOO good at it.
There`s nothing like the laughter of a baby....unless you`re home alone at 1 am...and you don`t have children...
If you ring my door bell you better be the pizza guy or a sexy naked lady ... with a pizza.
There are two types of people I can`t stand. Nosy people, and people who won`t tell me what`s going on.
Who wants to go Smart Car Tipping?
I bet the women who only post about sex are probably some of the nicest men you’ll ever meet in person.