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During the summer months, be sure to dress for the body you have. Not the body you want.
If you`re out running in jeans, I`m gonna go ahead and assume you just participated in a felony.
All women want is to have a relationship with an intelligent man. The only problem is, intelligent men don’t get into relationships.
If you`re going to be stupid, don`t do it on Facebook.
Its real cute how pedestrians confuse “right of way” with immortality.
These peopele at the gym are looking at me like they expect me to share my donuts ... SMH
People must stop questioning my sanity, it wont answer them.
Relationships always start out as "You`re smart and funny." and end up as "You think you know everything and it`s all a joke to you!"
I didn`t have access to Facebook for the past few hours. Finally graduated, got married, lost some weight, read 17 books and showered.
I read a sad statistic that something like 2% of all sushi goes un-Instagrammed.
I own a shop selling `CLOSED` signs. We haven`t had a single customer today.
Picking your nose doesn`t make you a bad person. .... but what you do with the booger will define you.
Having to cash in my State Quarter Collection`s map for gas money is reaching a new low.
Where is the button to restart summer?
Running away doesn`t help your problems, unless you`re fat. Then yeah, run away.