Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
"Good for you!" means, "I do not consider you a threat" in woman-speak.
The covers of this book are too far apart.
A comprehensive list of the things women have taught me: 1) I`m wrong.
Career goal: Being successful enough to add bacon to my burger without asking how much more it costs.
It`s about time the government enacted a law that keeps dumb and stupid people away from playing any role in society.
Some days the problem is I care too much... Today was not one of those days...
The "I got your nose" game is fun to play with kids, but try it on the pharmacist at Target & she`ll call security.
Me blacking out when I`m drunk is God`s way of telling me that what I do when I drink is none of my business.
I have a friend with one eye, he`s pretty cool about it, instead of :D he sends .D
What did the sushi say to the bee? Wasabi.
My parents say I was an unplanned child, which probably explains why my life isn`t going to plan.
I swear my toddler yells at me in Vietnamese
Living with a child is like using a blender with no lid...
A man asks a trainer in a gym - "I want to impress that beautiful girl, which machine can I use?" Trainer replies - "use the ATM"
I don`t always do a lot, but I put a lot of thought into it.