Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
GF: Does this dress make my a$$ look big? BF: Nope Your A$$ makes the dress look big.
Naked yoga in the backyard is the best way to get the neighbors to pay for that privacy fence.
People who are offended by offensive things offend me.
Went into a five-star hotel to use the bathroom and now it`s a two-star hotel.
If cats had wings, they would still just lay there.
New Subway rule: You must give the person in front of you a wedgie if they take more than 5 seconds to choose what kind of bread they want.
I don`t like thinking before I say something. I like to be just as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth
I fake my LOLs
I`m just chilling tonight with my new plane ... Oops, I`ve said too much.
I hate it when I think I`m buying organic vegetables and I get home to discover they`re just regular doughnuts.
Step 1: remove food from packaging Step 2: dig packaging out of trash to locate cook time
Sometimes I wake up grumpy but sometimes I let her sleep instead..
Boobs are like friends. Some are big. Some are small. Some are real. Some are fake. And some are just so fantastic you want everyone to meet them.
After the doctor left the exam room from my prostate exam. The nurse came in with three words I didn`t want to hear. "Who was that?"
The real fountain of youth is to have a dirty mind and a naughty smile.