Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
United States is where moms get a day and shark get a whole week.
Why are you showing me pictures of your kid if you have a dog?
Remember the days when water was free and you had to pay for porn?
The toughest part of a job interview is finding the exact right moment to go in for the kiss.
Pro tip: when you have a drug test and they tell you to go to the bathroom in the cup, that means PEE. Always.
Women can brutally and methodically destroy your life. But they let you see their tits along the way so it`s totally cool.
You think your life is bad? I’ve got that “Five dollar foot long” song stuck in my head
The more photos you have to untag, the better the weekend was.
Found out today you cannot join a gym "just to watch".
Remember when teachers asked to lie quietly with your head on your desk? My boss has yet to be impressed with this skill.
No matter which path you choose, there will always be some asshole in front of you trying to make a left.
You know you have anger-management issues when you use an entire can of fly spray at point blank range to kill the tinest of moths...
I think I speak for everyone here when I say "I haven`t the slightest idea as to where my life is headed"
I may not be the smartest guy in the world, or the richest guy in the world, or the best looking guy in the world, but.... Oh, hell. Now I`m depressed.
Sex in the City is the prequel to The Golden Girls, right?