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I don`t know which is worse... waiting for someone to get out of the bathroom so you can use it or hearing them say "come in" when you knock on the bathroom door...
You’re going to make some cats very happy one day.
My wife even says "NO" in her sleep. The force is strong with this one.
So how many women out there think men are pigs? Gimme a show of tits!
I know they didn`t ask for it, but I sent a stool sample in with my tax returns.
when i was little my dad told me that the icecream man only played music when he ran out of icecream well played dad well played
Helpful Tip : Never ask the cop to hold your beer while you dig out your drivers license.
Playing dead in the supermarket to avoid having a conversation with someone you know attracts more attention than I anticipated...go figure.
My house is not messy. Those are just obstacles I`ve put in place for burglars.
when I`m quiet, strangers look at me and think I`m shy. People who know me think: OMG! he`s thinking! EVERYBODY RUN!
Did anyone else go into a furious, violent rage when they found out that George Lucas filmed most of Star Wars here on Earth?
Don`t be ashamed of who you are. That`s your parents job.
Played hide and seek today. I was winning until the cops let the K9 off of the leash.
New diet plan: murder all the skinny people.
Sometimes I think "Screw this ... I`ll just be a stripper!"