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I just made 3 critical errors: 1. I woke up for work. 2. I went to work. 3. I arrived at work.
The amount of people who confuse "to" and "too" is amazing two me.
This is a test of the emergency broadcast system. Were this to be an actual emergency you’d be screwed, because no one takes this seriously.
Congratulations! I`ve finally snapped, and you`re first on my list!
Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year, and then discover once a year is way too often.
I don`t want to set the world on fire........just you.
You know those people who get all excited and lovey with puppies at pet stores? Same. But I`m in a liquor store.
"Just Be yourself" is something I rarely hear from people who know me well.
Which emoticon indicates the desire to cover someone with fire ants?
loosing weight tip: turn your head to the left then to the right. Do this everytime you are offered food.
Why do guys cheat on pretty girls with ugly ones...?
Two of the greatest mysteries of the universe: 1) Why are we here? 2) How come Chinese restaurants don`t serve breakfast?
I’m always disappointed when a liar’s pants don’t actually catch on fire.
How Big is Infinity?
Trivia - It turns out that Alexander the Great was not all that great. But in those days, nobody had the guts to call him Alexander the SO-SO