Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
finally got my certification in the mail, I`m officially insane.
I love you with all my thighs. I would say my heart, but my thighs are much bigger.
How weird was the first robber to wear pantyhose on his face
Just vacuumed for the first time in a really long time and apparently I have hardwood floors?
God made men. But sandwiches weren`t going to make themselves. So God made women.
My wife went home to visit her mother today. Or as I refer to it. Her “bitch refresher course”.
How do you spot a blind man at a nude beach? It`s not hard.
Due to the rise in the economy, the position 69 will now be 96, due to the higher cost of eating out.
There are more important things in life than Facebook and Twitter, like watching TV and having a beer.
A dirty mind is f*cking beautiful!
Hey baby, wanna come to myspace and twitter my yahoo `till i google all over your facebook?
Ironman and Batman`s only super powers is being super rich and smart really makes Bill Gates a real disappointment.
I`m single by choice. Just not my choice.
If your bf/gf tries to start a fight with you just say, "Please. Not during Toyotathon."
what do you mean booze ain`t food!?