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I was about to read the story below. But it was too long.
Boobs are to men what laser pointers are to cats.
They should start selling Photoshop CD`s at cosmetic shops.
All women are crazy. But, if you pretend to listen to them when they talk, they will let you live.
A guy outside the grocery store asked me if I had a few seconds to save the environment. I told him, I feel like it would take longer than that
"Three blind mice" is probably the most popular nursery rhyme about animal cruelty
Hold boobs not grudges.
People are obsessed with the front seat of the car but when you get in a bus, you go straight to the back
I know I should lift weights, but those things are heavy!!
The dollar store needs to go ahead and open up a few gas stations.
Getting my kids to the airport always feels like I`m recreating the first 10 minutes of "Home Alone."
Whenever I`m feeling down... I try to make sure my nails are clipped.
I consider each one of my friends a gift. Now if only I could remember where I put some of those receipts.
Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance... The five stages of waking up.
Buying your wife a gun is like saying. "You know, I kinda want to kill myself, but I want it to be a surprise."