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I really love it when a hot girl winks at me with both eyes.
Women can brutally and methodically destroy your life. But they let you see their tits along the way so it`s totally cool.
I`m living in a drama-free bubble today. Respect the bubble people, respect it!
I mean if men are better at math why do they get the lenght wrong all the time.
Home sounds like a nice place, until they say they’re going to put you in one.
The iPhone 6 looks pretty cool, but it still lets people leave voicemails, so they apparently haven`t worked out all the bugs yet.
I`m starting to get that "f*ck it" attitude about everything..
Hey micky you`re so fine, you`re so fine you blow my mind hey micky! hey micky! Admit it, you didnt read it, you sang it
I`d like to have a child one day ... Two days, tops.
The easiest way for me to lose inches is to switch to the metric system.
I bet jellyfish are sad that there are no peanut butter fish ... I`m not even high.
The only rule of the Chess Club is to hide from the Fight Club.
A lifetime of fire drills has prepared me to completely ignore the alarm during a real fire.
Is it ok to ask a very pregnant librarian if she`s overdue?
Step 1 Change your wifi password to blowmefirst. Step 2 Wait for someone to ask for your wifi password.