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Coffee ā because most people frown on alcohol first thing in the morning.
My wife even says "NO" in her sleep. The force is strong with this one.
"Why haven`t you been answering my pigeons?" -- Girlfriends in the 17th century probably
I love to start my day by getting on Facebook to see who is a whiny little bi!ch today.
I love long walks on the beach under the moonlight, poetry, candlelight dinners, and having my a$$ spanked with a fuzzy slipper.
Call me lazy, but if it takes two clicks Iām not reading it.
Why was the cat in the bag in the first place?
I have never been guilty of taking the smaller pizza slice.
We can`t all be princesses, somebody has to clap as I go by. :P
If you see a road sign that says "Survey Crew Ahead" they actually are not looking for your opinions ... I know that now.
When I say lol, I don`t literally mean I laughed out loud. What I actually mean is that I made a loud outward breath through my nose, similar to a bull.
Dear ladies, Not trying to impress you or anything, but I make my own sandwiches.
If I was famous I would just knock on peoples doors and be like ... Hello, yes it`s me.
Keep it up and I`ll make sure u end up on a milk carton.
Sure, I`ll show up at your Halloween Party... I`ll be coming as the invisible man....