Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
All things being considered......half of your friends are below average.
Someone’s therapist knows all about you.
If you run into someone you know and they say "we should hang out sometime", say "I`m ready to hang out now" and watch them panic.
People should seriously stop expecting normal from me...We all know it`s never gonna happen
You know what would make my cubicle super cute? Fire.
Why do people say "nice to meet you" before I`ve even said anything? How do you know it`s nice to meet me? I`m an a$$hole.
She deleted and blocked me so I guess you can say we`re taking it slow now.
Nothing says I have faith in God like the bullet proof glass on the Pope`s car.
It never ceases to amaze me that the little space between the driver’s seat and the center console in my car will fit any object that can possibly be dropped, but will not fit a hand.
It’s only Wednesday and I’m 95% done with this week.
My blood test came back as B+ Any tips how I can get an A+ next time?
There is only one thing I hate more than lying: skim milk. Which is water lying about being milk.
Check this one out.........1
This coworker is about to find out walking around smiling on a Monday always leads to workplace accidents.
One man’s LOL is another man’s WTF.