Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
How do bats hang upside down without crapping on themselves?
Did you know that if you put a finger in your ear and scratch, it sounds like Pacman.
If I was a Jedi there is a 100% chance that I would use the Force inappropriately.
Ever notice that all the instruments searching for intelligent life are pointed away from earth?
I won the Twister contest hands-down.
Deja poo. The feeling that you`ve heard this sh!t before.
I like to start my morning off with a good nap.
Sorry for whatever I said when I was hungry.
Roses are red, violets are blue, If your parents told you you`re beautiful, they`re lyin to you..:D
He who laughs last didn´t get it.
A man is as faithful as his options
If you cry loudly enough, your boss will usually let you go home.
The feeling you get when a woman asks you to guess her age is like wondering whether to cut the blue wire or the green wire when defusing a bomb.
Going through the dealership lot with the salesman, pointing at every car and asking, "what kinda robot does that one turn into?"
I accidentally opened the fitness app on my phone for the first time ever. It just began pointing at me & laughing.