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Can`t wait `til I`m old enough to pretend I can`t hear.
FYI: The signs that say "Falling Rocks"....I tried it.....it doesn`t.
I don`t always agree with everything I say. :)
Well aren`t you a f*cking waste of two billion years of evolution.
No matter what happens this month, at least you’re not a turkey.
Maths teacher: If you have 12 chocolates and you give 5 to Mary, 3 to Claire and 2 to Elizabeth then what will you get? Me: 3 new girlfriends.
It`s ok, ghosts, no-one believes in me either.
Congratulations India on successfully orbiting a probe around Mars. I assume you`ll be opening call centers on the red planet and using fake Martian names now?
I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.
I believe in sharing the road with other drivers. They can have the part behind me.
"I`m tired of you pushing me around and talking behind my back." ----people in wheelchairs probably
I don`t mean to brag... but I`m a pretty damn good peek-a-boo opponent
Sometimes I get a little sad and feel like being alone. But then I talk to my dog about it and he reminds me I`m Awesome. Then WE DANCE.
When I am working, I get paid to be nice. I don`t understand why my friends and family expect me to do it for free during my time off.
If you kept one of those jars where I`d have to put in a quarter every time I swore, you would be a billionaire by the end of the week.