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Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, & nothing but the truth" ... I choose dare, your honor
great day! laundry done, dishes and house cleaned.... who am I kidding? been drinking since 9 am!!
I will stop eating ice cream out of the container once I make it completely level.
There is no number for what just happened in that bathroom.
You know your old when your back goes out more than you do.
I wonder if the two guys arguing over r2d2 and roadrunner ever get laid.
Got tossed outta Starbucks this morning for asking the really cute redhead behind the counter for a "Quickie". Apparently it`s pronounced "Quiche`" who knew......
People are so predictable..I bet you`re even reading this status right now.
Sadly, the days of people using proper English are went.
Ahhh, the 4th of July. The day where trips to hospital start with the words "Hold my beer and watch this!"
Rejected Olympic Events: Javelin Catch... Jello Shotput... Border Fencing... Cardboard Boxing... Menstrual Cycling... Salad Tossing... Wrestling Demons...
I have to stop saying "How stupid can you be?" I think people are taking it as a challenge.
I eat my salad without dressing because who has time to put on clothes...
If by a blow job you mean blowing everything out of proportion then yes I totally rock at blow jobs.
My goal weight is,"someone give that girl a cheeseburger."