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Condom slogan: Wrap it in latex or she`ll get your paychecks.
Weather forecast for tonight: dark
i hate not being able to correct the typo i just made in my previous statues update......DAMN IT! I JUST DID IT AGAIN!
How do amish girls know if its a romantic candle lit dinner or just a regular candle lit dinner.
By the time I realized my parents were right, I had kids that didn`t believe me.
A lot of attractive people are like nice cars with the check engine light on.
The best nicknames are the ones people don’t know they have
We should remove the warning labels from everything and let the stupidity problem take care of itself.
Found out the difference between onions and men. I don`t cry when I`m chopping up men.
I decided to make a bucket list for when I kick the bucket. Number 1: Wear shoes! Ever tried kicking a metal bucket without shoes?
People like you are the reason people like me take pills.
be smart, pretend to be stupid!
Life seemed more interesting when everyone owned a flask.
"Have you ever wondered if the $1 bills in your wallet were ever in a stripper butt? - You`re wondering now!!!"
Noise canceling toilets should be a thing.