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I wish I could feel as happy as an adult, as I felt as a kid when the teacher wheeled in the TV during class
I have this great midnight snack it`s called, what do I think my roommate won`t notice if I eat the edges off of
Premature ejaculation and hide and seek have one thing in common. 1 2 3 ready or not here I come.
#Redskins QB Robert Griffin III back after surgery to reconstruct the ACL and repair the LCL in his right knee. He`s now RG 3.2
If I agree with you, we would both be wrong.
Do you ever get up in the morning and look in the mirror and say, "that can`t be right"?
If you say "cash money" around me, Don`t act surprised when I kick you in the "balls nuts" See how stupid that sounds?
The longer I`m left unattended in the Drs office the more tongue depressors I can lick and put back in the jar..... Just sayin
I went to the missing persons` beurau. No one was there.
When someone calls you a bitch just say a bitch is a dog, a dog barks, bark is on trees, trees are nature and nature is beautiful. thanks for the compliment ;)
Sir, no food allowed in the dressing rooms.` ... what, am I supposed to just guess the pop tart capacity of these cargo shorts before I buy?
If they made a movie of my life, it would just be a lot of scenes where I`m looking for something to wipe my hands on.
I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with “Guess” on it…so I said “Implants?”
I want to get a welcome mat for my front door that just says "Text Me"
Apparently, driving past police cars while drinking water from an old vodka bottle isn`t `funny` and is technically `wasting` police time :(