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Sorry I pissed you off, but I find you much more entertaining this way.
You know you`re addicted to your iphone when you start using your fingers to zoom into things on your laptop computer. Or a printed photo. Or a book. Or your watch.
You can tell yourself that Sesame Street is educational but Cookie Monster has lived there for like 40 years and still can’t conjugate verbs.
"Lets all put our phones down and talk with each other.." - Someone who has run out of phone battery.
One day I hope to understand the phrase "more money, more problems"
The only thing I ever win playing McDonald’s Monopoly is 10 pounds.
Wearing my pajamas to Walmart. I don`t want to attract any attention.
I hope when I die, it`s early in the morning so I don`t go to work that day for no reason.
Sometimes, I send game request just to piss people off :)
Being an adult is a lot like going to the vet. We`re all excited for the ride until we realize what it`s like where we`re going.
Gee I wish I could push the envelope... But it`s stationary.
If you can`t handle me at my worst, then that sucks because that`s all there is to me.
Don`t cry because it`s over. Smile because it happened. -Me, to my empty pizza box
The club sandwich, for when a knuckle sandwich just isn`t enough...
I will admit, my statuses sound a bit different when read aloud by the prosecuting attorney.