Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
No one asks the tough questions, like why are drug dealers on the metric system?
I`ll be right with you, I`m busy being inappropriate on the internet.
I wash once and dry 3-4 times, depending on how much I want to delay folding my clothes.
STEP 1: Sign up for email newsletter STEP 2: Receive email newsletter STEP 3: Delete unread email newsletter for the rest of your life.
The best things in life require no pants.
Sometimes I worry that eating pizza isn`t a real sport.
Who knew adulthood would involve so much Advil?
Friendship is like peeing on yourself; everyone can see it but only you can feel the warmth that it brings.
When bears are around, try to look skinny and they won`t eat you. If that doesn`t work, kick your buddy in the nuts and RUN!
Somebody tell me how "Rub a dub dub, 3 men in a tub" became a nursery rhyme?
When life gives you melons, wear a low cut top.
I once had the desire to do something worthwhile with my life. Then I discovered naps.
90% of adulthood is just deleting emails.
Posting inspirational quotes online is the first sign to depression.
thjeo oskl asopa joa sajksla wioj apska shul bhcgy ....Yes I just wasted your time ;)