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And, yet another day I’ve gone without using calculus.
I don`t know how many girls it takes to change a light bulb, but I guarantee we`d post pictures of us doing it on Facebook.
I know this will probably piss off a bunch of people I know, but what makes someone good at fishing?!? Seriously, all you did was wait longer.
Bitch I’m not insulting you, I’m describing you.
Say what you will about women but I think being able to turn one sentence into a six hour argument takes talent.
Always thought the 4 words I never wanted to hear from my wife was "I want a divorce". Turns out its actually, "What is your password".
my phone battery lasts longer than relationships this days !
Guy advice #221: Starting a load of laundry in the washing machine and then starting a load in the dryer counts as `2 loads` - just sayin`!
How many Snickers are an acceptable meal replacement?
If you enter a room and there`s no food, you`re in the wrong room.
Nicknames are way more fun when people don’t know they have them.
Pretty busy today. Was only able to check my phone 1400 times.
I`m sick and tired of people telling me to turn off lights to save the environment. I tried it once, and I nearly killed some guy on a bike.
They`re teaching kids that abstinence is 100% more effective in preventing pregnancy than birth control, try telling that one to Jesus`s mother!
A new study has found that men have a hard time reading women`s facial expressions. Main reason? They usually aren`t looking at her face.