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I don`t care about your status...
Nothing is really lost until your mom can’t find it.
You can steal my status updates whenever you want, but just remember that I lick every single one before I post them...
When I see people jogging outside I like to drive behind them slowly blasting Eye of the Tiger for motivation.
If you like to make love while listeninag to music, always choose live album. ..That way you`ll get an applause every 3 to 4 minutes. :)
Who was the greatest prostitute in history? Ms. Pac Man, for 25 cents that bitch would swallow balls til she died!
I used to date this girl that worked at Hasbro, but I finally got sick of all her games.
I love it when someone insults me. That means I don`t have to be nice anymore.
so apparently there is no such thing as a St Patrick`s Santa and I`m not sure whose lap I just sat on at the mall.
This year thousands of men will die from stubbornness....NO WE WON`T!!
I`m tired of things costing money
Driving to work would be so much better if I didn’t always end up at work.
Put your gossiping skills to the test, go write a novel...
If you recieve something that says,”Send it to all your friends” , then please don`t consider me as your friend.
My box of Animal Crackers said, "WARNING: Do Not Eat if Seal is Broken." I open the box, and sure enough...