Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
the dude who posted ”MERRY CHRISTMAS“ has still got his head shoved up the turkeys A$$ it seems...
I may not be the smartest guy in the world, or the richest guy in the world, or the best-looking guy in the world, but,....Oh,hell. Now I`m depressed.
The average person farts 14 times a day. Finally, I`m above average at something!
Why can’t they make the whole week out of Saturdays?
“Hi I’m an evil ghost with the ability to defy time & space, but I think the best example of my powers will be to slightly close this door.”
Does anyone else have a plastic bag full of plastic bags in their house, or is it just me?
I did not mean to hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. I just figured you already knew.
After 6 years, is it still all Bush`s fault or has it been reduced to "Unfortunate circumstances under no one`s control"?..............
If you don’t already hate people, the mall is a great place to start.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. Sunflowers are yellow. I bet you were expecting something romantic, but this is just gardening facts.
If you mix vodka, orange juice and milk of magnesia... Do you get a Phillips screwdriver?
Beach people are fickle. One minute you`re the loser with a bucket of cold fries and the next they`re terrified of the Lord of Seagulls.
"you failed just as much as your dads condom."
Shout out to the single lady I saw buying a bunch of Duracell batteries on Valentine`s Day.
Scientists say the universe is made up of protons, neutrons and electrons. They forgot to mention Morons!