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You think you are too small to make a difference? then you have never spent a single night with a mosquito.
I`m not really much of a plumber, but I have laid some pipe before.
I`d watch NASCAR if Hot Wheels designed the tracks.
I sleep better naked.. why can´t the flight attendants understand this?
Meant to tell my kid "Good night, I love you," but it came out as "Thank god you go back to school tomorrow because this is bullsh!t"
Life is what you make it = 10% Shit happens = 90%
Someday, I`ll live in my OWN basement!
I`m happy, but not "Oprah just told me to look under my chair" happy.
If you`ve ever wondered which of your friends are really amazing, you`re in luck today. :)
How can there be more horses asses than there are horses?
Just once I want my boss to assume I`m tired in the morning because I fight crime all night, not because of all the booze I drank.
If he uses an iPhone 5 in Taken 3 he`s going to be spending half the movie charging it.
Why do ballerinas always stand in their toes? Why don`t they get taller dancers?
The cashier at this self checkout is horrible.
Whoever made up the saying "It`s the thought that counts" never got a pair of crocs for Christmas.