Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
When I hear a person say "My Mom didn`t raise no dummy", I feel like saying "She lied to you"
I`m not a doctor but I play one on Match.com
Nice try, blocked number but I don`t even answer the phone for people I know.
So far I’ve spent most of 2016 flipping off the weather channel.
99% of people in this world are stupid. Luckily I`m part of the other 5%.
Having a bit of a lazy day, sitting in my underwear looking for jobs online ... My boss doesn`t look amused
How many divorced guys does it take to change a lightbulb?...........Who cares, they NEVER get the house anyways
I`ve had such a bad week First my girlfriend got run over by a bus, then I lost my job.. ..as a bus driver
I think sharks eat people just to be on tv.
The hardest question of the weekend.. can or bottle?
didn`t get much sleep last night, I tried counting sheep but they kept cutting in line, confused the hell outta me!!
ATTENTION: Upon further consideration, I am once again pushing back the debut of my summer beach bod. Thank you for your patience.
If it`s true that spiders are more scared of me than I am of them, why have I never seen a spider crawl away screaming like a little girl?
First Ebola case in USA , and the Walking Dead starts next week... brb gonna go buy a crossbow.
I think the lady at the movies is "shushing" me, but I can`t tell because I`m eating Doritos.