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While everyone may not speak the same language, we all know what time McDonald`s stops serving breakfast.
I find it ironic that it takes 12 steps to get a beer out of my fridge.
I´m not lazy, I´m just highly motivated not to do anything.
Lord, grant me the courage to be the person I am under my breath.
Me: Mom…Dad. I’ve decided to live on my own from now on. Parents: Ok, cool. Me: Your luggage is outside.
I like to smile at people who don`t like me because I`m an asshole
I don`t have a drinking problem, I just celebrate everything! Like the fact that shirts have armholes, I`ll be celebrating that tonight.
I swear my bed just whispered "Please Don`t go."
Why is it called cat nip and not meowjuana?
"I know im the best driver on the road" thinks every guy.
Etc... A word used to make others believe that you know more than you actually do
Time to try some of this candy from the Easter "bunny"... Can`t trust anything you find laying in the yard these days.
The restraining order doesn`t mean we can`t hangout. It just says I can`t get within 50 ft of you. So you wanna play catch or frisbee or something?
I love food, napping on the couch, and getting super excited about car rides, I`m basically a golden retriever.
Hold on I`m about to count my money. Alright I`m done.