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Just for fun, next time you see a snooty, rich woman at the grocery store, ask her if she works there.
I`m so unlucky with women? I visited a massage parlour the other day..and they told me it was "self - service"
Yes, bitches be trippin’ but maybe I pushed one.
Everyday I’m shoveling. – Winter 2014
I am tired of men complaining about women complaining about men complaining about women
I always tell my kids that it`s ok to make mistakes as long as you learn how to blame them on other people.
If all men are created equal then why are there midgets?
Spring cleaning: The term that gives us an excuse to only clean once a year.
When I get a prescription for drugs, I don`t ask, `Will it work? Are there any side effects?` No, it`s `Can I drink with these?`
When ur mom Calls and u have a party at ur house you; shut up!! Answers phone you; hi mommy!
The way my dog acts, you`d think his entire family was murdered by a vacuum cleaner.
Some people are too chipper early in the morning. They don`t realize how bad it is for their health.....until I`m choking them
I`m not ignoring your calls, I just love my ringtone.
At least a stalker is there for you.
I’m pretty sure the whole “ladies first” thing was created by a guy just to check out girls butt’s.