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A telephone survey says that 51 percent of college students drink until they pass out at least once a month. The other 49 percent didn`t answer the phone.
I`m glad it`s finally hot enough to complain about how hot it is.
I never care whether or not my glass is half full or half empty... cause I drink straight from the bottle!
Remember if you ask me to put sun lotion on your back, I am definitely drawing something dirty while I`m back there.
"Mary had a little lamb. That`s had." - the wolf
There was a piece of chocolate cake in the fridge and a note “Don’t eat me”.Now there’s an empty plate and a note “Don’t tell me what to do”
I look so young for my rage.
If you like counting to three, you are going to love parenting.
Wow, I didn`t know my ex was into orgies until I saw the ad on Craig`s list I just posted.
Whenever I tell the cashier to ‘keep the change`, it takes everything in my power not to call them a filthy animal.
More people should be at a loss for words.
is running out of excuses for the stupid things I do. Please submit suggestions below.
Drinking doesn’t make me post better Facebook status updates; it just makes me not care what you think of them…
If your pet has its own FB page, it might be time for a reality check...
I`ll stop being so lazy when being so lazy stops being so awesome.!!