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A lot of people are very competitive when playing stupid.
I`d rather run into the four horsemen of the apocalypse than a group of women out on a "girls` night."
Before we start this relationship, I am going to need you to explain a few pics in your Facebook albums.
I think sex is probably the best stress reliever, but I haven’t beaten anyone with a baseball bat before, so I can’t be 100% sure.
Sometimes I worry that eating pizza isn`t a real sport.
Dear sneeze, If you`re gonna happen, happen. Don`t put a stupid look on my face and leave
If women are so perfect at multitasking, how come they can`t have a headache and sex at the same time?
I`ve never watched CSI because I learned everything I need to know about solving crimes from watching Scooby Doo
At what point will this meal make me happy, Ronald?
I don’t just sing in the shower... I perform.
Behind every successful status update, there is a Ctrl C & Ctrl V
Made the decision that I`m done having kids. Yet every morning I wake up and there they are asking me for breakfast.
You would think a popular place like the Krusty Krab would have more than two employees.
You guys make me wanna be a better alcoholic!
There are some people in this world who make you totally understand Hannibal Lecter.