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For once Iād like to get kicked into a bar
I`m not mature enough to be in a yoga class.
I can still remember a time when I knew more than my phone
If you`re a vegan an atheist and a liberal, how do you choose which way to annoy people at Thanksgiving first?
I was an adult once. Then I opened a Facebook account.
Selfie... Because it`s important to realize that it`s not the photographer who is making you look ugly.
Would you be a deer and run out in front of my car for me?
"Friendzoned" should be a relationship status on Facebook.
How many V and M can see
NNNNNMNNNNNNNVVWWWWVWWWWW
Most women desire someone who makes them laugh and also feel safe, so basically a clown ninja.
The awkward moment when people think you`re drunk when in fact you`re just a blast naturally.
This strip mall certainly is misleading And I probably should put my clothes back on now.
Have you ever loved someone so much deep in your heart, you wanted to keep them hidden from the world and all to yourself? Well, apparently its called kidnapping.
I thought I cracked this "adulthood" till I realised my shirt was on inside out !!!!!
If I die, bury me with fire extinguishers. Because: Hell