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I am the reason why Waldo is hiding.
Women are always complaining that men are messy by leaving clothes layin around…..That’s because women take up all the closets
why does that idiot Charlie Sheen keep winning, and a good person like me keeps losing?
Did you know that if you light a candle under the moonlight and you say 3 times the name of the person you love, you will look really stupid doing that!
At a wedding reception someone yelled: “All the married men please stand next to the person that made your life worth living” The bartender was nearly crushed to death.
Using my invisible hula hoop really freaks people out.
I`m pretty sure God just pointed at me and laughed.
I stay up late every night and realize it was a bad idea every morning.
Men are great listeners when you have big boobs ;)
If you are what you eat then where is this place that a ton of people are eating stupid?
If you could have one super power would you pick flying, invisibility, or falling asleep without questioning every decision you`ve ever made
Would you like to save money on your car insurance? Walk ... Just sayin
The best way to get a man to do something is to suggest he’s too old for it.
Hi I’m an evil ghost with the ability to defy time & space, but I think the best example of my powers will be to slightly close this door.
First you told me to be myself now you`re telling to me not be an idiot. Make up your mind woman!