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Do trolls even live under bridges anymore? Or have they all relocated to the Internet?
My coworker`s inspire me to drink on the job.
Happy 4th of July ... U can toss out the Christmas tree now
If youβre having second thoughts, youβre two ahead of most people.
Sometimes I wonder if these old men sitting on the benches in the mall waiting on their wives to finish shopping were old when they sat down!?
You are not a "Food Blogger", you`re a "Fat a$$ with a laptop"
I just finished writing an article on "How To Improve Your Memory"- But I forgot where I kept it!!
The Bible is Christianityβs Terms of Service. Nobody actually reads it, but as long as u agree to everything in it, u can use the Heaven app
Hash browns not tags.
My favorite sex position is, "don`t tell anyone we did this".
Never ask a woman who is eating ice cream straight from the carton how sheβs doing.
It is impossible to simultaneously keep up a) hope and b) with the Kardashians.
Cooking tip of the day: Rub your eyes BEFORE you dice the jalapenos...
Dear iPhone, Please stop changing my rude words into nice ones. You piece of shut.
I scream. You scream. The police come ... It`s awkward ;)