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I told my psychiatrist that I`ve been hearing voices. He told me that I don`t have a psychiatrist.
The earth moves 1.6 million miles per day. So no I didn`t just "lay in bed and watch TV all day" I traveled very far thank u
Men are like cheap dishes - easily broken & completely replaceable!
You know you`re addicted to your iphone when you start using your fingers to zoom into things on your laptop computer. Or a printed photo. Or a book. Or your watch.
I`m not a control freak. I just know what`s best...for everyone.
Has it ever occurred to optimists and pessimists that the glass is refillable?
My girlfriend was complaining last night that I never listen to her. Or something like that.
The hay in baby Jesus`s manger came from Christian Bales.
Things are more like they are now than they ever were before.
Libraries were a good start, but we really need to keep working on the number of places where people shouldn`t be allowed to talk
I like to stop the microwave with 1 second to go. Makes me feel like a bomb defusal expert.
Relationship status: Just got screamed at for peeling the carrots wrong.
Half of my life has been spent hoping people don’t see me.
Have you ever realized that sleeping is just your eyes staring at your eyelids all night long?