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Racism, sexism and homophobia make no sense when there are so many perfectly good stupid people to hate.
“I went to Jared” I whispered as she slowly opened the velvety box of Subway coupons.
Your license plate should be your phone number... So when you drive like a dumbass, I can let you know about it.
*Learns sign language to keep arguing with boyfriend while giving the silent treatment*
justin bieber
I`m having a problem in Call Of Duty, I go to the menu and... ok by now the girls have stopped reading this, anyone know any good porn sites?
I was going to LIKE and compliment your FB pic, but I`m not a good liar.
I broke up with my gym, we were just not working out.
You fake your smile daily, then judge people for getting a fake tan.
Him: What to play Trivial Pursuit? Her: Sure, But I,m not that smart. Him: What to play strip Trivial Pursuit?
When setting the table, does the remote go to the left or the right of the dinner plate?
A woman’s anger is like a check engine light; there’s no pleasant way to determine what caused it, so just ignore it and hope it goes away.
I`m on my 5th coffee, just in case you`re wondering about the "other way" to get to Narnia .
If you walk a mile in my shoes the least you can do is leave a pair of yours to wear.
I can`t wait til the Presidential race ends so we can stop hating people for their politics and go back to hating people because they`re jerks