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It`s called instant messaging for a reason. ..if I wanted to wait a week for a reply, I`d of sent a bloody letter
Don`t forget: it`s very important what strangers on the Internet think about you.
Do the spectators at golf tournaments know they don`t have to be there
All I heard was, " I swear it`ll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I will have you know I have FRIENDS! All 10 seasons.
I was cleaning one of my finger guns and accidentally blew a hole through my air guitar.
This day is going downhill faster than a wagon full of fat kids!
I may be delusional but at least I`m going to Mars in November.
BESTFRIEND: the one you can get mad at only for a short period because you have important stuff to tell them.
Day six of my push-up challenge. So far, I`ve eaten 107 push-up pops.
I don`t post a lot of personal statuses - but when I do it`s all about you ..
Why is it called mooning when you`re actually showing uranus?
Don`t hate me because I`m beautiful. Hate me because your man thinks I am.
A model citizen is just like a regular citizen that doesn`t eat.
Pizza is like sex, when it is good it`s very good, When it`s bad...it`s still pretty good.