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Just curious, when pirates use text, IM or twitter, do they used emoticons` like .) .P .D or .( or do they try to fool us by using the two eyed ones?
I keep forgetting how bad my memory has become..
Life is basically trying to meet better people than the ones you currently know.
I still know what you did last summer........... cos you posted it on facebook!
Call me faithless, but I just can`t believe three guys would travel that far on camels to throw a baby shower.
How do people rap? I can’t even talk without messing it up.
Plastic Surgery is Photoshop for people who go outside.
Weird that we don`t see more pants on fire
Apparently typos only become visible to the human eye after you hit send.
I`ve just realised that I`ve got one of those cool body types that can eat whatever I want and get fat.
Smoke a joint before hitting a buffet to really get your money`s worth...Just saying.
I just called to get my credit score and I heard laughing in the background. Sounds like a cool place to work.
For the life of me, I can’t understand why small and medium pizzas exist.
Finding out your ex got fat is like finding 20 bucks in your pocket. Not life changing but definitely puts a smile on your face.
My therapist keeps saying that I should really stop talking to inanimate objects.....but he`s a lamp...what does he know....