Daily Silly Status

I give myself the best presents.

My identity was stolen. I hope they do a better job with my life than I did!

So.. who else is sleeping naked tonight?

The problem with the world today is that intelligent people are too smart to have children.

If there were "Box Tops for Education" on cases of beer, my kid`s school would be rich.

My hair looks amazing today. I hope I see everybody I hate.

yelling at the referee that he made a mistake has never worked, No Referee has never turned around and said, "Why yes your are right silly me I did make a mistake, penalty denied, goal kick"

Afterism (n) - A concise, clever statement you don`t think of until too late

I don`t even know why chicks spend so much time and money on their hair when all guys look at is their tits.

Sometimes I wish people would just bring donuts to work instead of drama.

I dont mind going to work, but this eight hour wait to go home is bullsh*t

Little known fact: Walt Disney was the inventor of modern day text talk "M - I - C... C u real soon... K - E - Y... Y? Because we like u"

Letting the cat out of the bag is a whole lot easier than putting it back in.

I`m not naughty ... I`m mischievously creative

Living alone is pretty cool, I don`t even know if my bathroom door closes