Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The word "Lovers" bums me out unless it`s between the words "Meat" and "Pizza".
So, basically Alexa is just some know-it-all with no actual job skills.
You say peeping tom. I say highly active member of the neighborhood watch.
Doctor: Do you drink alcohol? Me: Why? What`ve you got?
Car horns were invented 1% for safety and 99% because people get pissed off sometimes and need to let a mofo know.
Why isn`t there a reality show called "Security Cams of Walmart?"
Like medicine, some people should only be allowed to talk in doses. Like 30 sentences three times a day.
It`s tax season. Anyone have some spare kids?
It`s not really stalking if you don`t catch me doing it.
Crazy people are never aware of their own insanity. I’m so glad I’m not a crazy person.
Never believe a person who claims is telling the truth while holding a pack of beers in both their hands
I`m just a boy...standing in front of a girl...asking her to lov.....aw who am I trying to fool. I just want in your pants.
Facebook should just change it`s name to "People You May Want to Avoid."
Get ahead of myself. Sometimes I
If you try to pronounce “lmao” you sound like a french cat.