Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I run entirely on caffeine and inappropriate thoughts.
I pack an hour before leaving for a trip but unpacks 3 months after coming home
The difference between “like” “love” and “in love” is the same as the difference between “for now” “for a while” and “forever”
Do stupid people ever hit a point in their life, where they realize they’re stupid?
I either want less corruption, or more chance to participate in it!
It doesn`t matter how old you are, If you hear the ice cream truck jingle you jump out the window for that sh!t.
We have those sticky traps all around the house and I just found one moved clear across the room with all sorts of hair on it....so if anyone see`s a BALD mouse running around, it belongs to me
I`m not saying not to trust the Internet, but there is an alarming discrepancy between the number of iPads I`ve won and the number of iPads I own.
I was hooked on auctions after only going once... going twice
You never really know if you`re over someone until you`re in the car and they`re in the crosswalk.
My house is not a mess. It`s just that everything is on display for your viewing pleasure. Like a museum.
When I get married I plan on introducing my spouse as my ex-fiancé just to mess with people.
Some people are just beautifully wrapped boxes of crap.
I have a "honk if you think I`m sexy" bumper sticker on my truck so that way on the way to work, if I`m not feeling to excited to be there, I sit at a green light until I feel better.
Pretty impressed at petrol station today, as i was filling up, i heard woman with truck at next pump say is that Vin Diesel, I smiled, then realised she meant Van Diesel :-/