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I only drank twice last week....Once for three days and once for four days
Why does life keep teaching me lessons I have no desire to learn?
Every novel is a mystery novel if you never finish it
I hate mixed messages. They`re great.
I always tell my kids that it`s ok to make mistakes as long as you learn how to blame them on other people.
Iād go to the gym but Iām still tinkering with the ultimate workout playlist I started three years ago.
Rock bottom is when you get dinner at the same place you buy your gas.
Our brain took two billion years to evolve. Two billion trips around the Sun. All so humans can use it to look at kittens on the Internet.
my girlfriend does that cute thing, where she doesnt exist.
Maybe I`m not stalking you, maybe I just like your schedule
R.I.P. 2013 (2013-2013)
My newsfeed looks like a cross between a Civil War Soldier and ZZ Top photo album.
The true trollers are the ones who troll the trolls.
You never outgrow sleepovers, they just become coed.
Don`t worry about walking a mile in my shows. Try a day thinking in head.