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How to find the perfect husband: Play monopoly with him. if he chooses the iron, he`s the one
They don`t make pizza or beer out of celery. And that is all you need to know about celery.
So another day has come and gone and I still haven`t used algebra.
Home is where the pants aren`t.
I sure buy a lot of alcohol. Hope I`m not a shopaholic.
Do you know how many poisonous apples I`d have to give out before I was considered to be the fairest in the land?
My internet went down last week...so I talked to my family....thank goodness the internet came back
Comcast is doing home security now so if your house is being robbed they will get the police there on Tuesday between the hours of 8 & 12.
Fellas.....the girl on the flyer is never at the club
Did the Baha Men ever find their dogs? Did they put up posters or just sing that song?
Stalin should have known communism doesn`t work. There were red flags everywhere.
50 Shades of Laze - My weekend plans
I just hope my stalker doesn`t tell my dentist how infrequently I floss.
The real heroes are the people who live within driving distance of their in-laws.
If at first you don’t succeed, try doing it the way I told you to.