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Don`t talk to me about disappointment. I had lots of adults tell me they were gonna "fix my little red wagon" yet here it sits with a broken wheel still
I`d rather be in a relationship where no one wears the pants.
A lot of conflict in the Wild West could have been avoided, if they had built their towns big enough for another person
“Until death do us part” means we’re all single in heaven, right?
with great power...comes great electric bill...
I don`t get enough credit for not going on killing sprees.
One thing I think the world can agree upon… Any day when you can stay in pajamas the whole time is a good day.
As I slid my finger slowly down her G string, I thought to myself "this is a nice guitar"
When I was little my dad had me convinced that the Ice Cream truck only played music when it was sold out. Well played Dad, well played.
If you`re ever lost in the woods and have a compass, the compass can help you be lost more north.
Honey, You really don`t need to drive me crazy, I am close enough to walk.
I just realized that I haven`t done the "Hockey Pokey" in over 10 years. I guess when you get older, you just forget what it`s all about.
Before Walmart you had to buy a ticket to the fair to see a bearded lady!
Take my advice; I don’t use it anyway.
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me 300,000 times, well then you`re probably a weatherman.