Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I asked my mom for money and she said "Does it look like I am made of money?" I said "Well isn`t that what M.O.M stands for?"
Thank God I still have 20 days to achieve my goal of "going to the gym in 2013."
Marriage lets you annoy one special person for the rest of your life.
"With a stroke of a pen your name can live on forever in a quote!... Unknown,
Fact: Turtles can breathe through their butts. And I thought I had bad morning breath.
Give a man a fish and he`ll go to McDonald`s instead. Teach a man to fish and nope, still McDonald`s
Shouldn’t the Air and Space museum be empty?
I`d love to have kids one day. Two days, tops.
I bought a book called `How to become an expert at Origami`. So far, I`ve made 1000 paper snowballs.
I went for window shopping , and guest what , I bought four windows....
I can relate to Alice in Wonderland. She just keeps randomly eating and drinking with hope that it might magically solve her problems.
Why eat a carrot when you can just as easily not eat a carrot?
You have 600 friends on Facebook but you have to take your own picture of yourself for your profile photo.
You can always tell if a guy masturbates a lot by looking at his hands. If you look closely, you’ll see a wedding ring.
No matter how compelling and convincing the other person’s argument is, you can always win a debate by adding “yeah, but still” at the end.