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There are no bad pictures. That`s just how your face looks sometimes.
Do you guys dance in the shower too? This morning I did the robot! (I short circuited and stared at the wall for 40 minutes, broken)
Some people need to calm down, take a deep breath and then hold it for 20 minutes.
If she asks what the weight limit is on your ceiling fan.... She`s a keeper!
I would be so pissed if someone shook me all night long.
Did I already do my deja vu joke?
Time to get out of bed and worry from another location.
I still have a landline. Or as I like to call it, Cell Phone Finder.
I`m laying on my yoga mat making up fake poses to fit my current activity level. Right now I`m in "downward facing chalk outline".
If you want funny, get off Facebook and watch the news...
A friend suggested I see a therapist but the truth is, I like being f*cked up.
Life is basically just a constant effort to not be disgusting.
I quit beer every time I wake up hung over
Stop undressing me with your eyes!...Use your teeth!
Who ever says "words can`t hurt you" has never been hit in the face with a dictionary.