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The amount of times I`ve had to say no to the Adobe Updater has totally prepared me to be a parent.
I don’t understand how people have to “get ready for bed”…I’m always ready for bed.
Before having any kids make sure you’re done sleeping and doing things you like to do.
Urgh..I just dropped my phone, are you guys alright?
Facebook Stalker! If you just felt a sudden twinge of guilt then yes I`m talking about you.
Women come in two types: batsiht crazy and hot enough to ignore the batsiht crazy…
Q: What do you call apple-flavoured marijuana? A: iPot
PRO TIP: If you see a woman crying, never ask if its because of her hair.
Relationship status: running out of films on Netflix.
I was blown away when I realised the word " OK " is a side ways person.
I hate laundry, dishes, sweeping, mopping, dusting, fixing and fetching. The only logical conclusion is that I am descended from royalty.
Sometimes I wish people would just bring donuts to work instead of drama.
Getting another set of teeth would be much more useful at age 60 than age 6.
If I’m ever murdered, I have no doubt that my chalk outline would include my phone in my hand.
"F*ck that sh!t", is a perfectly acceptable replacement for the word "no"