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I wish my mind had a delete button.
I swear, if my memory gets any worse I’ll be able to plan my own surprise party.
Its all fun and games..until you get stuck on a level of candy crush!!!
I just want to buy an old Mercedes Benz,so people will think I have been rich for a long time.
Before criticizing my taste, remember that I like you.
yo fellas how did that "wow" comment you left on that girls facebook picture play out
This status is mine....I licked it.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said bet you can`t hit me with a quarter!
I`m trying to locate a girl from high school. You know, the one who could tie a cherry stem with her tongue.
A fun thing to do when leaving the Zoo, is too start frantically running and yelling "OMG they`ve all escaped!"
I don`t have dirty mind ...I just hav a sexy imagination. ..
To hell with the "dislike" button! i think we need a "who cares" button, a "WTF" button and a "STFU!" button. just saying.... Oh and a "lol" button because i just get tired of writing it! lol!
Part of me wants to help you with your crisis, but part of me wants to go to happy hour.
Some people say I`m a dreamer, others say, “If you fall asleep at work again you`re fired"
The point of no return sounds like a fun vacation spot.