Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Hair growing from my ears and nostrils doesn`t mean I`m getting old, right? Means I`m turning into a werewolf! Right?
I used to have a tremendous sex drive. My girlfriend lived 150 miles away
Wine with crackers and cheese is basically just the classy version of beer and nachos.
I bet Jellyfish are sad that there are no Peanut Butter fish.
On a scale of one to crazy, how many cats do you have?
I look forward to paying off all my debt so I can get back to just being broke.
At the start of every relationship many girls treat their boys as a GOD but later the alphabets are reversed
Some young men are like bottles of wine. They need to be tended to carefully & given time to mature; which is why I keep a few in my cellar.
I once wrestled an anaconda for 4 straight hours... Then I realized I was just masturbating.
What idiot decided it should be my foot`s asleep instead of coma toes?
I am not particularly bad at cooking but how long is pasta supposed to stay in the toaster ?
Teacher: Have a seat! Student: Thanks! *picks up the chair and leaves* -- (°_°)
No matter how nice I ask random people, nobody will take me to Funkytown.
If your conspiracy theory doesn`t involve cats and dogs, don`t bother me.
My girlfriend is about to do this ice water bucket challenge. She don`t know yet though she`s still in bed