Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
A lot of people don`t realise that Shania Twain`s father, Mark, was actually a pretty good writer.
Dieting is for the birds. Which is why you hardly ever see a fat bird.
You don`t get to complain about life until you move out of your parent`s house.
People who try to test my patience don`t realize it`s an exam I don`t plan on passing
Ideal roommate: Someone not smart enough to know they are paying 80% of the rent.
When someone ask me... How are you?... I answer back... You mean in bed?
Why are kids obese? Maybe because Burgers are $.99, & Salads are $4.99.
Looking back at old text messages and Facebook messages and being like "What the hell was I thinking when I said that."
If I ever get real rich, I hope I`m not mean to poor people, like I am now.
I wonder how much a zebra would cost if you scan it…
that awkward moment when you`re alone somewhere and trying to take a picture of yourself.
I never run with scissors…those last two words were unnecessary.
GF - What`s that beeping? Me - Fasten Seatbelt Alarm. GF - How can you ignore something so annoying? Me - Huh?
I`m thinking about remodeling my bathroom and thanks to all your selfies I`m getting some great ideas!!.....
I`ll never fall in love untill and unless love falls on me!