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Any girl is a stripper if you wait outside her window long enough
Exercise? More like extra fries.
I`d walk barefoot across an ocean of Legos for you.
My birthday is coming up. I dont like to think of it as getting older I like to think of it as experience points.
I can`t stand people who blame everyone else for their problems....I`d be successful and happy by now if it wasn`t for them!!!!
I feel like there should be more breakfast beers on the market.
I’m drinking because you’re talking.
I`m optimistic that within my lifetime it will become acceptable to wear your underwear to the supermarket.
Ever drink so much your wife makes sense? Me neither...But I keep trying
The lottery gives you a 1 in 20 billion chance you won`t go to work tomorrow. Alcohol gives you 1 in 5. You play your game and I`ll play mine.
I see subway employees are still having their "how much lettuce can you fit on a sandwich" contest.
I can see your camouflage pants, so they`re not working.
Conversation between Adam and Eve must have been difficult at times because they had nobody to talk about.
Ever notice how many friends you have when you pull out a pack of gum?
Odd Fact: The names of characters in Inception are: Dom, Robert, Eames, Arthur, Mal and Saito. Note the first letters = DREAMS.