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How come the energizer bunny beats a drum instead of doing something like working the cashier register at Wal-Mart?
Ya Know?!?......The number of ways I could care less...... is astounding!
Just so we’re on the same page, I’m on 43.
Dear liver…. Here is an advance sorry for tonight… sincerely Jimmy…
It`s a beautiful Spring day to get outside and stare at your phone.
If you’ve never pretended a Cheeto is a tiny caveman club, we can’t be friends.
So the state trooper said "I`ve been following you with my lights flashing for three miles. Why didn`t you pull over?" and I said "Well, a few years ago my wife ran away with a state trooper and I was worried that you were trying to return her."
I`m the opposite of psychic. I don`t even know what I`m thinking! ;)
I don`t know why the Petco cashier gave me this look when I asked for the fish`s Birth date.
The best job ever? Sleeping Beauty at Disney World. You just lay down all day. If anyone bothers you, it’s like excuse me, I’m working here.
Facebook is not all about likes and shares. . . Like and share if you agree.
I dont care how you live your life, so just let me live mine. Yeah whatever.
Save water, shower together.
It`s 2013. With all the hormones in food and advances in medical technology, why are there still girls with less than C cup boobs?