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Of course I’ll buy a polished rock made into a necklace. I’m on vacation, aren’t I?
If thought bubbles appeared above my head, I`d be screwed.
A moment of silence to all the kids who can’t wait to become a teenager because they think it’s fun..
My dog is entertained chasing his tail and I`m bored with a device that gives me access to infinite knowledge...
The guy blaring the self help CD at the red light in the rusted car with no bumpers wasn`t amused when I said, "I don`t think it`s working"
If you`ve never baked pot brownies in an Easy Bake Oven... then you`ve never wrote an apology letter to your sister with an Etch A Sketch.
It`s not karma, you`re just an idiot.
The only thing my girlfriend blows is everything out of proportion.
I never finish anyth...............
"Be strong" I whisper to my coffee.
There is a 3-for-2 sale in my local shoe shop. I almost bought myself a new pair of shoes, but couldn`t decide whether to get an extra left or a right one as part of the offer....
When I die I want someone to play that little death jingle from Mario Bros at my funeral.
Nothing starts my day off quite like an inspirationsl status!...May your day go fast, your socks match and your underwear no ride up your a$$.
They say 1 minute of kissing burns 26 calories. No wonder sluts are so damn skinny.
Handy tip for new parents : Wake up your baby by gently resting your head on a pillow.