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Simply amazing how one word spoils the whole sentence: I’m getting laid.....off.
If cleanliness is next to godliness, then my car is Satan`s chariot.
If you ever get a flat tire, take a picture of it on your phone so for future reference you can use it as a valid excuse.
She likes to call it a conversation, but mostly she`s gathering evidence.
Legalizing same sex marriage. I thought all sex was the same after marriage.
H.A.T.E.R.S. : Having Anger Towards Everyone Reaching Success?
3 Things you need to know: Yes I Have. Yes I Can. Yes I will.
“I’m not washing it, I’m just gonna shove it in a pony.” If you’re a girl, that sentence is actually ok.
facebooked yo mama!!!
I never want to go to sleep less than I do at bed time.
Facebook is like a fridge full of old food you know what is in your fridge but still you go and check if it changed.
A recent study has found that woman who carry little extra weight live longer then the man who mention it
I bet the Fantastic 4 were just pretending to have a girl in the group. "Uh yeah she`s just invisible right now. She`s totally real though."
Today I caught myself smiling… I was thinking of you… Don’t flatter yourself though, it was because you had a booger in your nose the last time I saw you.
Today’s Generation: “Omg my parents never let me have anything.” via iPhone.