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You can learn a lot about a girl by ignoring her text messages.
Every woman in this world is beautiful...........except for the ugly ones!
I don`t have any "driving the speed limit" music.
I hope we`re friends until we die and then I hope we stay ghost friends and walk through walls and scare the sh!t out of people.
It`s a little known made up fact of mine that 40% of the air inside a Taco Bell is just farts.
Dont judge a person by the color of their skin or by the content of their character but by the shape of their eyebrows
Ermegerd! I WON EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH!!!!! Again! I love being self employed..
Every once in a while I check up on people I hate to make sure I still hate them… I do.
Hey dumb a$$. Not everything I post pertains to you. Just the stuff that starts with Hey dumb a$$.
Any person can be nice to my face, but it takes a real friend to be nice behind my back.
I’ve learned to use meditation to handle stress. Just kidding, I’m on my third glass of wine.
I’ve got about as much self control as two rabbits on a first date!
Why is it called Boob Sweat and not Humiditties?
There is no better sunscreen than sitting in a bar.
I`m going to spend Valentine`s day with my ex.... Box 360