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My favorite moment is the 5 minutes every day when coffee overlaps with wine.
My lack of dusting will finally pay off on Halloween.
There should be an observation deck at Walmart.
According to customer service I can not bring sexy back... Without the receipt, apparently.
"When I grow up, I want to marry a man addicted to video games" ~ No woman ever.
I love updating my Facebook status while crossing the stre
If you`re behind someone at the ATM late at night, let them know you`re not a threat by giving them a gentle kiss on their neck.
My girlfriend told me she wanted me to surprise her with a gift that will take her breath away. I`m thinking about getting her a treadmill.
I came home one day all proud as can be with my report card and said to my Mom ,Look I got a B in reading , She said that`s a D you moron !
The one thing you can always count on is your fingers.
I used to think drinking was bad until i stopped thinking
This day needs more yesterday.
awesome collection!
Hello... Modeling Agency? Ya, my selfie just got 34 likes I think I`m ready to go pro!
You can`t run from your problems. unless your fat.