Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I might not be a great example, but I´m one hell of a good warning.
Do you think that the guy who invented the vibrator heard voices saying, "if you build it they will come"?
I`m pretty sure some of you just drag your face across the keyboard and hit send.
The world would be a much nicer place if everyone took a chill pill. It would be even better if some of them choked on it.
I love asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up because I`m still looking for ideas.
Someone once said, “Find a job you love and you’ll never work a day in your life.” So, I’m pleased to announce the grand opening of my titty squeezing business!!
that strange moment when you get in the van and theres no candy...-Drew Balthaser
Hard liquor because I don`t don`t have time or patience to sit around drinking 9 bottles of wine every day
When Miley is naked & licks a hammer it’s “art” & “music” ... but when I do it, I`m “wasted” & “have to leave Home Depot"
Welcome to my bedroom,this is where the magic happens.....and by that I mean this is where I read my Harry Potter books.
Not sure if people stopped saying YOLO or if everyone who said it died.
I dont have awkward moments I have "special" moments.e.g That "special" moment when my "special" ex learns that karma exist..
Good mothers let you lick the beaters when they`re making a cake. Great mothers turn the mixer off first.
Letting the cat out of the bag is a whole lot easier than putting it back in.
My whole life is based on a true story...