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Apparently somebody gets stabbed every 52 seconds...sucks to be that guy
“Delete, Block, Ignore” Its too bad getting rid of people in life is not as easy as it is on Facebook..
I use meditation and yoga to handle stress...Just kidding, I pop pills for that sh!t.
Sir, your burrito is $5.97. With guacamole, your total comes to $386,932.32
Is it just me, or is Fantasy Football basically Dungeons & Dragons for jocks?
Spring cleaning: The term that gives us an excuse to only clean once a year.
when a police officer yells turn around . Do not respond by singing . Every now and then i get a little bit lonely when you never come around
People are like slinkeys; they don’t really serve a purpose, but you can’t help but laugh when one of them falls down the stairs.
Never underestimate a woman’s ability to make anything your fault.
Some of you ladies need to ease up on the makeup until we get this clown situation resolved.
Shout out to all the girls who don`t have to dress half naked to get a mans attention. Stay classy! And the rest of you come with me.
mermaids swim by twerking do you ever just think about that
If you can read this, you`re not having sex either.
Folks, there`s no need to say GOODNIGHT on Facebook. NO ONE will be thinking " hey where did they go".
I don`t understand interventions. What`s the point of being told I drink too much by a room full of the reasons I drink in the first place?