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I would like to discuss tennis but I wouldn`t want to cause a racket
Muffins – for people who don’t have the guts to order cake for breakfast.
I like to log into facebook and leave a status just to show I`m here. Or am I?
The best part about having an old VW is driving down the road and watching people punch the sh!t out of each other.
Not all country music is terrible. If you can get past the lyrics about trucks, mud, farms and cows... It`s actually not too bad.
“Grandbrother” sounds much cooler than uncle.
A man made eye contact with me on the train, so I left my shoe behind ... And now, we wait...
The bright side of getting attacked by a Cyclops is only having to use half the pepper spray.
Deep down, we`re all that one lady in 7-11 with her bathrobe on.
I am bored. Anyone need anything avenged?
Make BIG mistakes in life. Those people are remembered forever. On Youtube.
I`m going to stand outside. So if anyone asks, I am outstanding.
The nice thing about living in the southern states is that "He needed killing" is a valid legal defense here.
My misery likes tequila, not company.
Today’s forecast.. mostly cloudy with a 99.9% chance of alcohol