Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Now there’s Adderall to perk up, Xanax to calm down, Prozac to feel normal. In my day we drank beer for all three.
Note to Self: Next time I leave my wife a message that I`m in a threesome all afternoon, specify it`s golf.
Please pay me in cash. I`m not trying to hide money from the IRS, I`m trying to hide it from the MRS.
Days are short in December but spending them with family really stretches them out.
To clear a pop-up ad online, I was just forced to agree that "I don`t care about being healthy and smelling clean."
I feel sorry for historians, they have such a hard time letting go of the past.
If you lick the frosting off a cupcake it becomes a muffin, muffins are healthy :) your welcome.
The problem with plants is that you have to water them… like more than once apparently.
is cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.
My parents preferred my imaginary friend over me.
Scent is the sense most tied to memory. "Common" is the sense least tied to people.
Considering this is the land of the free, stuff is pretty damn expensive.
3 out of 4 Americans make up 75% of the population.
If A-B-C-D didn`t drag out their part of the Alphabet song, LMNOP wouldn`t have to be so rushed.
Ways to Win my Heart: Buy me Beer Bring me Beer Be Beer.