Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
What I lack in height, I make up for in kitchen counter climbing ability.
Dear Santa: My sister is the "naughty" one ... trust me.
Don`t tell me I look tired unless you`re offering to carry me
My life is just a series of awkward moments separated by snacks.
If someone`s mean to you, just lean in and whisper "I`m a Barbie girl in a Barbie world" to them & get that monstrosity stuck in their head.
Sign outside a Drug Rehab Centre: "Keep off the Grass!"
So I met an Egyptian, they walk just like us.
I guess at a job interview "firing you" is not an acceptable answer when asked where I see myself in a few years.
Wisdom for the day is , hot cheetos are not breakfast.
Why don`t strip clubs do Black Friday? It would be the one place I would camp out to go in.
My thoughts should be ashamed of themselves.
Adding "and sh!t" at the end of a sentence can make anything sound thug. Example: I was playing with my bubbles and sh!t.
Crazy is like diarrhea. You can only hold it in for so long.
At funerals instead of crying, I tie the dead person’s shoe laces together. It’s not stupid. What if he comes back as a zombie?
My reaction to stepping in dog sh!t is identical to me logging onto Facebook