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In the morning instead of having coffee and reading my horoscope, I have coffee and unfriend anyone who posts their horoscope.
is in no shape to exercise
All bad decisions are ultimately made using the same piece of resounding logic: “Screw it.”
With all the technology these days, you`d think they would come up with an Online Gym where losing weight would be a click away
What Meatloaf wouldn`t do for love I would probably do for a six pack.
My New Year`s resolution is to stop pointing my car alarm remote at my apartment front door expecting to unlock it
Hitting the snooze button is like hitting the “Next Episode” button on Netflix… it’s going to happen at least 3 times.
I got a free wallet and watch today. It`s like this gun is magic.
There is no angry way to say `bubbles.`
I`d imagine the only thing worse then getting your period is not getting your period.
I see you posted a photograph of snow with the caption "it`s cold" could you tell me more about that
I need u to do me a favor... Stand in front of my car please... I need to test my brakes :)
A procrastinator’s work is never done.
The fastest way to find out if your wife is just pretending to be asleep to avoid sex is to pick up her phone and start scrolling.
Just been watching Ladies Beach volleyball and there`s already been a wrist injury...but I should be ok in a couple days.