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Bathroom hand dryers are amazing if you want to kill a few minutes before wiping your hands on your pants.
I wish I lived in a glass house, those people seem to have a lot of fun...
I just wanted you all to know that I`m leaving Facebook. The ride has been a blast and I`ve made a ton of friends. Your humor and wit is amazing. I`ll miss all of u, but I`ve decided I need to spend more time with my family...so see you after breakfast!!
When I bust a move , it stays busted.
Imagine how fun Pringles would be if the cans were spring-loaded.
Ever noticed how fast people walk across the road when you don`t apply the brakes
"I don`t see color." - A person who shouldn`t eat snow.
People often say laughter is the best medicine, but they neglect to mention that an overdose can cause one’s ass to fall off.
Every so often, I like to go to the window, look up, and smile for a satellite picture.
If I haven’t embarrassed myself in front of you… don’t worry, it’ll happen.
People are like snowflakes. If you piss on them they go away.
If all the world´s a stage, I want to operate the trap door.
There is no such things as ghosts. I know, I asked Santa Claus
People hate facing the truth. Luckily the truth doesn`t give a sh*t.
Sorry, Sarcasm falls out of my mouth, like stupidity falls out of yours