Daily Silly Status

I love long legs.... Long sexy legs.....But not on a Spider, I hate long sexy legs on a Spider.

To say I wasted today would be a huge insult to the producers of the 3 movies I watched.

I hate waiting in lines. I wish this woman would hurry up and pick a suspect.

I found out that middle age is were you finally get your head together and then your body starts falling apart

I`m so hot I stalk myself ;)

Guys you should never overreact when you hear the words, " The babysitter is late."

I ordered some bubble wrap online. It arrived in a box surrounded by packing peanuts.

Common sense is so rare it should be classified as a super power

The Patriots defensive coverage was almost as bad as the coverage by Obamacare.

My leadership experience is pretty much limited to those three consecutive days in first grade when I was line leader.

My new voicemail: “If you have reached this recording, please hang up and text me.”

Seriousley.. The cuntestents in the 2013 speling beee contast hafe too now no the meening of the werd thay hafe been axed too spell. I coud rock that contast so eesy :))))) eg. The meening of "Easy". Anser: a kids oven

When your wife says she needs a new broom it`s best not to ask if she broke the last one in a crash landing.

No one on Earth has a higher tolerance to cold temperatures than someone who wants to smoke a cigarette.

I’m not always rude. Sometimes I’m sleeping.