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My goal today is to lose this hangover and earn another
I know it’s 3 meals a day, but how many should I eat at night?
Sometimes it takes me 8 hours to get nothing done.
Going on a dangerous assignment. If I don`t come back, can someone please tell my girlfriend that I always found her laugh really annoying. Thanks.
Shopping for bridesmaid dresses with 5 other women, today. If you never hear from me again, I committed suicide by nail file.
You tell me I`m crazy, the voices tell me I`m not. 4 against 1, so........
You can´t trust dogs to watch your food.
My life may be a mess but at least I didn`t make a harlem shake video.
Sometimes I`ll go out in public and socialize with people, those times are called alibis.
Why did the mushroom go to the party because he was the fungi
All i ever see on facebook is LBR, TBH, LMS, and all that other crap...
The great thing about snow is it makes your lawn look as good as your neighbors.
When everything is coming your way, you`re probable in the wrong lane.
Happy 15th birthday google, 3 more years and you will be able to search for adult sites legally
Obviously the movie "the good wife" is not based on a true story. It`s fiction people.