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When I want your opinion, I’ll give it a funny voice.
Going on a dangerous assignment. If I don`t come back, can someone please tell my girlfriend that I always found her laugh really annoying. Thanks.
If you read your timeline backwards it is about a person who hates everything and gradually becomes happier until they get a life.
Scientists discover that caterpillars can whistle. Am I the only one wondering if they`re concentrating their efforts on the wrong things?
DATING TIP: never reveal how many cats you have.
The guy below me obviously has never seen R2-D2.
If two cannibals fight, does that make it a food fight?
LIKE if you talk to yourself and laugh because you’re just that hilarious.
Judging by all of the cologne and shower sets I got for Christmas either people know I like to smell good or I am failing at it.
I have heard of women that aren`t crazy, but I`ve also heard of Unicorns.
I don`t get women. Also, I don`t understand them.
My problem has always been a Constipated Brain and my mouth has the Runs.......
New documentary movie about white trash .... I only saw the trailer ....
Just bought a car with the money from my swear jar.
I just googled, "understanding women," the computer crashed.